5 F-Words That Are Holding You Back
Have you ever seen those makeover TV shows. At some point during the show they always ask the person being made over, some version of this question – If you could do/have/buy/achieve anything what would would it be? Its always an interesting question to ponder but it is almost always theoretical as well. This does not mean that considering this question is unimportant. I am a dreamer and I love dreaming about that question. However, what you may need to mull over is not what you dream of, but what is keeping you from your dream.
So here they are. The 5 F-words keeping you from your dream.
I haven’t done any official surveys but I am positive the number one hindrance to people’s dreams is money. Either we don’t have enough of it, we owe other people too much of it, or our boss is too greedy and not giving us enough of it. Whatever reason we have for our deficient finances, the excuse just isn’t good enough. There are a multitude of great programs available to help us get our finances in order. Dave Ramsey likely being the most well known, but if you don’t like him there is no shortage of quality financial advisors willing to help people in this area, some non-profit organizations will even help you for free.
Many of us have friends who are very supportive and want to see us be successful. Although for some of us, our friends, even though they mean well, give us advice that ultimately leads us further away from our dreams. They say things like, “If I were you, I would…” the problem with this advice is that they assume the things that will make them happy will also make you happy. Another big one is, “Don’t quit your day job, you need the stability/benefits/health insurance etc.” While this is generally good advice it is not always the best advice. Jon Acuff’s book “Quitter” is a great resource and can help you learn how to “quit your day job” the right way.
The worst advice some of us have ever gotten has been from family. I believe this is usually done with the best of intentions but they give a lot of the same advice that our friends give. Worse than that however, is not the advice they give, but he subtle hints they give in the form of sarcasm and/or criticism. We learn from our family that we are not good/strong/smart enough. Of course not all family members try to hold us back but we need to carefully filter all of the advice we get and not just accept is as accurate because it came from a trusted family member. You may even want to consider seeking out a counselor or therapist who can be objective in helping you evaluate your situation.
I’m a failure. In fact, a huge reason I decided to launch this blog, is because I’m a failure. I don’t mean that I’ve failed at things before. I mean I am an active failure. I fail at things all the time. I fail at parenting. I fail at being a husband. I even fail at making mac and cheese sometimes. I fail at things all the time. But if I allow failures to stop me from attempting anything new, I would never have left kindergarten, because I had a heck of a time learning to tie my shoes.
Not only am I a failure, but I am afraid too. I don’t like to admit that because tough guys like me have an image to maintain. I can remodel a bathroom and change my own oil, even rebuild an engine if necessary. I’m a macho kind of guy. But I am afraid, I’m afraid of a lot of things. Ironically, the fears I believe to be protecting me from the boogieman at times turn out to be boogieman. It’s been said the best way to conquer fear is by facing it and it’s true. Addressing the truth of your financial situation may be frightening but ignoring it will only make it worse.
Five F-words, they aren’t vulgar but they can be absurdly hazardous to your overall health. The good news is there are innumerable resources available to us in this age of the internet and technology. But sometimes the best resource comes in the form of a trusted counselor and I’ll be talking about that in my next post.
Until then, what is keeping you from living your dream?http://bradschmidt.net/5-f-words-that-are-holding-you-back/AdviceDecisionsDreams